It’s not even that the place has changed (which looks like it sure did!)… you’re just becoming an adult.
Don’t get mad, hear me out first!
“Adult” is not an age, it’s maturity, family, desire to give, community, legacy.
You can’t do “adult” chasing women, the next high, the perfect wave… you’re just like a kid drooling over the candy isle scheming how to incorporate a tantrum into his sugar ask.
Moving close to family, putting down roots and becoming a different and needed cog in that small town are definitely the path to growing into adulthood.
Denver is shot to shit, that's for sure. But my sister lives in a different part of CO that's not too bad.
I agree, I am becoming an adult in that regard. I did the fun boy parties surfing and such and it was epic, but now it's time for something else. I'm moving to a small town in the north east. Zero influencers or traffic, it's gonna be so lit 😎 maybe we can meet up sometime if it ever works out. Jerome is going to come by this summer I think, maybe I'm even going to teach him how to ride a motorcycle which he said is on his bucket list 🏍️
Cool, I’ll be transitioning from OH to FL in 2 years when my second goes away to college (yep, gotta live on campus, no basement dwellers). Great feeling of anticipation and a little bit of fear selling the 2 businesses I have to start from zero (and a phat bank account I hope).
The only time I tried riding a bike I hit my brother in law’s parked car, so it’s a hard pass on that for me, but boats are something I’d like to experience more…
Safe return and remember to do all the paperwork if you’re bringing the dog to the US, it’s a bitch (no pun intended).
The paperwork to import my dog has been a source of unending stress for the last two weeks but it's finally done! Flight leaves in 24 hours and we're all good to go.
We're state neighbors once removed! I'm living outside of Buffalo. My grandmother also spent the last 20 years of her life in Erie and I still have family there.
That's awesome you're going to Florida! Great choice, and I'm a bit jealous haha.
I also wanted to say your piece was an excellent memoir of your time in Bali. I felt you captured the expat moment nicely. I often tell my clients who are hesitating - they're gonna be dead a long time, they've gotta live now. You did.
I read your Substack posts, you did too! Yes, I would tell people the same thing. If there's something you want to do, do it now. You never know when the opportunity will come again.
Beautiful tribute to a special place. I have never been to Bali, but your writing immersed me in it. Bittersweet to leave a paradise where you saw the golden age and decline. Best wishes for your next journey, comrade.
I wish I ran that time!!! That was just my training run, since I only trained for the marathon in Bali. I ran the actual thing in Bangkok at a far more humble 4:47.
As for the calories that watch is garbage. It broke a week after I took that pic :x
Wow, that traffic! Quite a post. My wife and I escaped to a remote town east of the Sierra on the far eastern edge of the Kalifornia Empire. If the land were private, it would be Vegas, but we're saved by the unrelenting thirst of Los Angeles (locked up land and water rights). Wishing you all the best for your next phase.
Thanks Scott! Glad you were able to find a corner of Kommiefornia that works for you. It's a shame what's happened to that state since the geography/climate is second to none.
An interesting and well-time post. A primary incentive for me to get my online business going was to move to a less expensive country, but as you explained, you don't have a community and roots. If I eventually make enough money, maybe for a second passport. I may end up moving to a smaller town in my state where I can find a reasonable house without spending a fortune.
The thing is, you *can* find community in a foreign country. You have to learn the language though.
When I moved to Moscow I learned fluent Russian and was much, much more involved in the world around me. But after I left there, I knew how much work it is to learn a language and I never attempted it again.
So I wouldn't advise you to stay out of foreign countries, but rather to just learn the language and actively get involved as soon as you move there. That will make your life infinitely better.
I have difficulty finding a community in my own country. I would learn the language enough before I decided to visit a country.
I will be interested in your thoughts once you return to the States to find a place. The average price of a house is now $550k in my state. You can only find trailers for under $250k.
My wife and I spent 15 days in Bali over the 14-15 new year. Fifteen days is not enough to even get a glimpse of the place, but several things about it made a mark. We stayed in Seseh the first 10 days at a yoga retreat. One afternoon I went for a bike ride with one of the instructors. I had some gear-changing trouble goin around a corner and ended up drifting onto the right side of the road. I looked up and was suddenly face to face with a Balinese guy on a scooter. My instinct was to pull to the right, and his, coming the other way his left side of the road, was to pull left. We ended up front wheel to front wheel on the shoulder. My dumb tourist embarrassed conciliation was mirrored by what I assume was his Balinese cultural tendency toward accommodation and concord. We both smiled and nodded and made prayer hands, then made our way around each other and got back to moving.
Every interaction I had with a Balinese person was marked by graciousness and an easy respect. But, except for a day trip to Ubud, we stayed away from the places western tourists frequent. I don’t think I’d like living in Bali, - too hot, too crowded - but I understand why someone would. I would be saddened to learn that Seseh had become Kuta-north, though I’m sure it eventually will; and I sympathize with the loss of place you describe.
That type of scenario you described is very common. It's why you can't ever zone out while you're on the road here.
Kuta north, that's a great way to put it and sadly probably true. People have been spreading out in ever greater circles, taking over everything in their path. That's "progress" for you. And yes, the heat is really a huge factor. It saps the vital energies after a while.
Glad you got to experience Seseh before it got too insane! Sounds like it's a memory you'll have for a lifetime.
So much has changed, and continues to change. No use crying about it--people all over the world still have the same hurts and frustrations and hopes. It's nice to have memories to hold, and realize that this is the worst world I will ever live in, and for many, the best world they will ever experience
Man I thought Bali was insanely overcrowded when I was last there in 2014.
Are all these developments still relying on labor from the other islands? I remember the Balinese complaining about that, as well as the foreign investors who didn’t understand the ‘ceremony’ system.
It's way, way, way worse now. 2014 looks quaint by comparison.
Yeah most of the labor comes from Java. People who have zero idea what they're doing, in general. My friend is redoing his villa and he can't look away for more than five minutes or they fuck something up.
That was an excellent piece of writing. And having visited you there for three weeks, we can attest to all of it. Thank you for writing this beautiful piece and encapsulating so many emotions of what Bali was and Bali is. And Balinese people have big hearts.
I didn't read your post on Bali. I couldn't do more than skim through it. You see, my family visited Bali in 1959 or 1960, and stayed in the one or two small houses on the beach. A few palms graced the area. We were the only people on that beach for that week. Oh, except for the occasional teenage- or younger guy who walked by, peddling strings of small shells and the occasional larger trinket. I remember the steady tradewind and the sound of it blowing through the trees. We had stopped along the way on our drive from the airport to see the funeral pyre of a prince. Suttee was not practiced, as far as I know. I was six, and I hear that beach now rivals Waikiki with its blatant commercialization and packed crowds. When I think of my ideal vacation spot, the one place above others I would want to visit this side of Heaven, it's that beach in Bali. But it's the one in 1959. I didn't read your post, lest I spoil my memories; but thank you for writing about Bali.
Oh yeah, you definitely shouldn't look at the pictures from my post then. Your Bali and the Bali of today have essentially nothing in common. That's so cool you got to see the island in its near pristine state! That's not something that many people have been lucky enough to experience.
Always a bittersweet thing to leave a place you’ve called home. It certainly looks like you’ve had a blast while you were there, though. Best of luck in the next chapter!
"Truthfully, I’ve begun to feel like I’m taking advantage of a place. I am not, in any measurable way, making my community better. I feel ashamed that I can’t have a conversation with my neighbors, that I can’t give them friendly cups of sugar as is done all over the world. That I have no idea what’s happening in my community. This is not a healthy way to exist, although for many years I didn’t give a damn about any of that."
I moved to South Florida over 6 years ago (to go to rehab) and in the past few years I've become much more conscious of the value of community. I have my recovery people but I started going to neighborhood businesses, talking to people, going to church, and volunteering. TRUE health requires not just healthy individuals but healthy communities, and true flourishing must be a collective phenomenon or it will prove to be a mirage. I look forward to reading about where you end up (if you leave) and what turns your life takes.
You sound as though you have many available options and that is truly a rare blessing in this world. Whatever course you decide upon can turn out well if you approach it with the right attitude.
I'm headed back to a small town not far away from where I grew up. My dad has 100 acres and there's always lots to do there.
Florida is a common theme in this thread haha.. You might be the 4th person to mention the state! It sounds like you're really getting involved in the community, that's awesome. You, like me, have realized that a human must be part of something bigger than themselves.
So much policy lately seems like it's designed to isolate people and that's a really sad outcome.
Last year Yuri Bezmenov published a farewell note entitled Escape from New York: 2023, which he described as “the longest, most emotionally taxing post I have ever written.” It’s a brilliant if rather melancholy bit of script, and one that inspired a missive of my own. I too am leaving a place, although for very different reasons than the former Soviet dissident reimagined as Substackian thought leader.
Wikipedia says that the dissident passed on in 1983
It’s not even that the place has changed (which looks like it sure did!)… you’re just becoming an adult.
Don’t get mad, hear me out first!
“Adult” is not an age, it’s maturity, family, desire to give, community, legacy.
You can’t do “adult” chasing women, the next high, the perfect wave… you’re just like a kid drooling over the candy isle scheming how to incorporate a tantrum into his sugar ask.
Moving close to family, putting down roots and becoming a different and needed cog in that small town are definitely the path to growing into adulthood.
Good luck, can’t wait to see where you end up.
P.S. Don’t do Colorado, place is a woke dump.
Denver is shot to shit, that's for sure. But my sister lives in a different part of CO that's not too bad.
I agree, I am becoming an adult in that regard. I did the fun boy parties surfing and such and it was epic, but now it's time for something else. I'm moving to a small town in the north east. Zero influencers or traffic, it's gonna be so lit 😎 maybe we can meet up sometime if it ever works out. Jerome is going to come by this summer I think, maybe I'm even going to teach him how to ride a motorcycle which he said is on his bucket list 🏍️
Cool, I’ll be transitioning from OH to FL in 2 years when my second goes away to college (yep, gotta live on campus, no basement dwellers). Great feeling of anticipation and a little bit of fear selling the 2 businesses I have to start from zero (and a phat bank account I hope).
The only time I tried riding a bike I hit my brother in law’s parked car, so it’s a hard pass on that for me, but boats are something I’d like to experience more…
Safe return and remember to do all the paperwork if you’re bringing the dog to the US, it’s a bitch (no pun intended).
The paperwork to import my dog has been a source of unending stress for the last two weeks but it's finally done! Flight leaves in 24 hours and we're all good to go.
We're state neighbors once removed! I'm living outside of Buffalo. My grandmother also spent the last 20 years of her life in Erie and I still have family there.
That's awesome you're going to Florida! Great choice, and I'm a bit jealous haha.
Yep. I'll be there, hopefully in August. I hope you had a good flight etc and maybe brought some good weather with you. 👍
What, you mean 90 degrees and 90% humidity??? Not sure you'd call that good haha, but I'll see what I can do.
Cool, see you in August!
I also wanted to say your piece was an excellent memoir of your time in Bali. I felt you captured the expat moment nicely. I often tell my clients who are hesitating - they're gonna be dead a long time, they've gotta live now. You did.
I read your Substack posts, you did too! Yes, I would tell people the same thing. If there's something you want to do, do it now. You never know when the opportunity will come again.
Beautiful tribute to a special place. I have never been to Bali, but your writing immersed me in it. Bittersweet to leave a paradise where you saw the golden age and decline. Best wishes for your next journey, comrade.
Thanks Yuri 🤙 we've both seen a place get run over so we're both in the same boat. Onwards, to a brighter future 🫡
Great piece. But my burning question is: How did you burn only 185 calories by running a marathon (in an excellent time)?
I wish I ran that time!!! That was just my training run, since I only trained for the marathon in Bali. I ran the actual thing in Bangkok at a far more humble 4:47.
As for the calories that watch is garbage. It broke a week after I took that pic :x
Wow, that traffic! Quite a post. My wife and I escaped to a remote town east of the Sierra on the far eastern edge of the Kalifornia Empire. If the land were private, it would be Vegas, but we're saved by the unrelenting thirst of Los Angeles (locked up land and water rights). Wishing you all the best for your next phase.
Thanks Scott! Glad you were able to find a corner of Kommiefornia that works for you. It's a shame what's happened to that state since the geography/climate is second to none.
Good luck on your move. You ever fancy a journey into the middle of nowhere in Florida let me know.
I'll be sure to let you know! My dad has talked about restarting our annual vacation to the Keys, so maybe I'll be in-state next winter.
Question: riverfront or community? Can’t decide, maybe you can pros/cons both since you’re in FL?
BTW what part?
Simply brilliant writing. It lifted me, however briefly, out of a growing sense of doom.
Haha well... I'm glad! Thanks for the nice compliment on my writing.
Just don't get used to this stuff, there is plenty more doom on the way :D
An interesting and well-time post. A primary incentive for me to get my online business going was to move to a less expensive country, but as you explained, you don't have a community and roots. If I eventually make enough money, maybe for a second passport. I may end up moving to a smaller town in my state where I can find a reasonable house without spending a fortune.
The thing is, you *can* find community in a foreign country. You have to learn the language though.
When I moved to Moscow I learned fluent Russian and was much, much more involved in the world around me. But after I left there, I knew how much work it is to learn a language and I never attempted it again.
So I wouldn't advise you to stay out of foreign countries, but rather to just learn the language and actively get involved as soon as you move there. That will make your life infinitely better.
I have difficulty finding a community in my own country. I would learn the language enough before I decided to visit a country.
I will be interested in your thoughts once you return to the States to find a place. The average price of a house is now $550k in my state. You can only find trailers for under $250k.
I'm renting for now, I already have a place lined up thankfully.
I know that the real estate market in the US is nuts right now. I try not to think about it :x
My wife and I spent 15 days in Bali over the 14-15 new year. Fifteen days is not enough to even get a glimpse of the place, but several things about it made a mark. We stayed in Seseh the first 10 days at a yoga retreat. One afternoon I went for a bike ride with one of the instructors. I had some gear-changing trouble goin around a corner and ended up drifting onto the right side of the road. I looked up and was suddenly face to face with a Balinese guy on a scooter. My instinct was to pull to the right, and his, coming the other way his left side of the road, was to pull left. We ended up front wheel to front wheel on the shoulder. My dumb tourist embarrassed conciliation was mirrored by what I assume was his Balinese cultural tendency toward accommodation and concord. We both smiled and nodded and made prayer hands, then made our way around each other and got back to moving.
Every interaction I had with a Balinese person was marked by graciousness and an easy respect. But, except for a day trip to Ubud, we stayed away from the places western tourists frequent. I don’t think I’d like living in Bali, - too hot, too crowded - but I understand why someone would. I would be saddened to learn that Seseh had become Kuta-north, though I’m sure it eventually will; and I sympathize with the loss of place you describe.
That type of scenario you described is very common. It's why you can't ever zone out while you're on the road here.
Kuta north, that's a great way to put it and sadly probably true. People have been spreading out in ever greater circles, taking over everything in their path. That's "progress" for you. And yes, the heat is really a huge factor. It saps the vital energies after a while.
Glad you got to experience Seseh before it got too insane! Sounds like it's a memory you'll have for a lifetime.
So much has changed, and continues to change. No use crying about it--people all over the world still have the same hurts and frustrations and hopes. It's nice to have memories to hold, and realize that this is the worst world I will ever live in, and for many, the best world they will ever experience
Man I thought Bali was insanely overcrowded when I was last there in 2014.
Are all these developments still relying on labor from the other islands? I remember the Balinese complaining about that, as well as the foreign investors who didn’t understand the ‘ceremony’ system.
It's way, way, way worse now. 2014 looks quaint by comparison.
Yeah most of the labor comes from Java. People who have zero idea what they're doing, in general. My friend is redoing his villa and he can't look away for more than five minutes or they fuck something up.
That was an excellent piece of writing. And having visited you there for three weeks, we can attest to all of it. Thank you for writing this beautiful piece and encapsulating so many emotions of what Bali was and Bali is. And Balinese people have big hearts.
They do indeed... It's a lovely place, if only it had 60% less tourists putzing around.
I didn't read your post on Bali. I couldn't do more than skim through it. You see, my family visited Bali in 1959 or 1960, and stayed in the one or two small houses on the beach. A few palms graced the area. We were the only people on that beach for that week. Oh, except for the occasional teenage- or younger guy who walked by, peddling strings of small shells and the occasional larger trinket. I remember the steady tradewind and the sound of it blowing through the trees. We had stopped along the way on our drive from the airport to see the funeral pyre of a prince. Suttee was not practiced, as far as I know. I was six, and I hear that beach now rivals Waikiki with its blatant commercialization and packed crowds. When I think of my ideal vacation spot, the one place above others I would want to visit this side of Heaven, it's that beach in Bali. But it's the one in 1959. I didn't read your post, lest I spoil my memories; but thank you for writing about Bali.
Oh yeah, you definitely shouldn't look at the pictures from my post then. Your Bali and the Bali of today have essentially nothing in common. That's so cool you got to see the island in its near pristine state! That's not something that many people have been lucky enough to experience.
Always a bittersweet thing to leave a place you’ve called home. It certainly looks like you’ve had a blast while you were there, though. Best of luck in the next chapter!
Thanks Mr. Obsolete. I did have a blast, lots of good memories. Now it's just time to make new memories somewhere else.
"Truthfully, I’ve begun to feel like I’m taking advantage of a place. I am not, in any measurable way, making my community better. I feel ashamed that I can’t have a conversation with my neighbors, that I can’t give them friendly cups of sugar as is done all over the world. That I have no idea what’s happening in my community. This is not a healthy way to exist, although for many years I didn’t give a damn about any of that."
I moved to South Florida over 6 years ago (to go to rehab) and in the past few years I've become much more conscious of the value of community. I have my recovery people but I started going to neighborhood businesses, talking to people, going to church, and volunteering. TRUE health requires not just healthy individuals but healthy communities, and true flourishing must be a collective phenomenon or it will prove to be a mirage. I look forward to reading about where you end up (if you leave) and what turns your life takes.
You sound as though you have many available options and that is truly a rare blessing in this world. Whatever course you decide upon can turn out well if you approach it with the right attitude.
I'm headed back to a small town not far away from where I grew up. My dad has 100 acres and there's always lots to do there.
Florida is a common theme in this thread haha.. You might be the 4th person to mention the state! It sounds like you're really getting involved in the community, that's awesome. You, like me, have realized that a human must be part of something bigger than themselves.
So much policy lately seems like it's designed to isolate people and that's a really sad outcome.
Last year Yuri Bezmenov published a farewell note entitled Escape from New York: 2023, which he described as “the longest, most emotionally taxing post I have ever written.” It’s a brilliant if rather melancholy bit of script, and one that inspired a missive of my own. I too am leaving a place, although for very different reasons than the former Soviet dissident reimagined as Substackian thought leader.
Wikipedia says that the dissident passed on in 1983